Lack of sleep is associated with a wide variety of health problems and is a significant cause of traffic and workplace accidents. Rotating shift work schedules are especially problemmatic. Other causes include too much caffeine, caffeine late in the day, electronics use late in the day, and using your bedroom as a work space or office. Students who study on their beds often have a hard time letting go of thoughts about school. It looks so cozy to snuggle up with your laptop to chat or watch movies but you are disrupting your natural sleep-wake cycle (and probably giving yourself a stiff neck). Teens and young adults are so wired these days that giving up 24/7 access to media and friends must feel like social Siberia.Habits that promote sleep include regular exercise, good nutrition, and set bedtime routines. Doing the same thing at the same time helps to train regularity. Some people chaff at the idea of having set routines, but if sleep is a problem for you, you just might need to try something new. Ask yourself what the resistance to sleeping is all about. For some people it may be about giving up control; for others it may be fear of the dark; for others it may be something else.
I did a quick search on poems about sleepless nights and it turned up a vast sea of poetry on blogs and websites everywhere, attesting to how common this problem is. A common theme is unrequitted love, lost love, loneliness. The song "Sleepless Nights" recorded by the Everly Brothers, Eddie Vedder, Norah Jones and others epitomizes the yearning (and yawning) that comes from pining away for someone you love. The song itself is actually pretty boring.
Broken relationships are painful, especially if the loved one's departure was sudden or unexpected. Often times sleep becomes a chronic problem after the death of a loved one, divorce, a break up, or separations for work. I know many older women especially who sleep in their chairs rather than go to bed. How many others sleep on the couch in front of the television?
Depriving yourself of sleep is punishment. For the bereaved maybe its a form of survivors' guilt. For others it may be a form of self-loathing. "If only I were more lovable I would not be so alone!" There goes the negativity bias again. The problem is not the aloneness but the lack of confidence in one's inherent worth. You are worth the care that sound sleep provides.
So let's get to it. A good routine is to turn off all electronics, except maybe to play some soft music. Check the doors. Pull the shades. Dim the lights. All is secure. Go about your personal hygiene. Straighten up the bed if you didn't make it earlier or set out things you will need for morning. Put on comfy PJ's. Jot down a few notes if needed. Say your goodnights. I am comfortable. Recall our earlier practices and mindfully apply a softly scented lotion to hands and feet (yes, guys should do this too). Settle into bed. I worked hard today and deserve my rest. Read for 5-10 minutes. Turn out the lights. I am ready. Feel the comfort of your bed and pillow and blankets--mindfully sink into the tactile experience. Follow your natural breathe...and zonk you are gone.
So be good to yourself. Your loved ones and coworkers want you to be in good health and they need you to function in the morning. Your work and recreation demand strength and focus. You will be happier when you are rested.
Repeat after me: "All is secure. I am comfortable. I worked hard today and deserve my rest. I am ready."
I'll let you know next time how my experiment with getting to bed by 10:30 goes. Hope you will try it too. Sleep well.
